Holiday Songs
Since it’s the holidays, here’s a list of my favorite holiday songs.
Some might wonder why I, a non believer, would have such a list. A big part of the answer is I like music and nearly every genre of it. Secondly, I think the ideals of the winter holidays are the same ideals as the best parts of religion. Sure there are people that will use those same holidays to exercise what is worse about religions: the horrid old woman who shouted in the angriest, meanest, growliest possible way “Merry Christmas” at the poor store clerk who had the temerity to say “Happy Holidays” to her leaps to mind, but the actually helpful ideals of peace, joy, and trying to treat people better are meant to be a big part of the holidays, and at least in theory, religion, and that’s something I can get behind.
Curating a top five list is always a bit difficult. Limiting the number of choices is tough. Choosing an order can be like picking favorite children, or so I’m told. Can parents really not have a favorite child? I’m not a parent, but how are parents not like “You’re my favorite, the others are pretty much expendable”? … But I digress. With a holiday list it’s especially difficult to pick because so many of the songs I’m going to list aren’t necessarily great music, but like the holidays themselves they hold some sentimental value… like remembering being a kid and we had the 45 of “What do you get a Wookie for Christmas? (when he already has a comb)” with flip side “R2-D2 We Wish you a Merry Christmas.”
Instead of limiting myself to a top five list, I’m going to shoot for five but it’s going to be a very loose five.
The loose five is getting off to the loosest of starts, because I’m beginning with something off the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society’s Christmas albums. I could do a top five, or more, of just songs off of these two cds. “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fishmen” has the best video. I think the “Carol of the Olde Ones” sounds the best. “I Saw Mommy Kissing Yog-Sothoth” is pretty funny. But one isn’t supposed to pick more than one song from an artist normally on these lists, so I’m going to go with “Es Y’golonac,” because it’s the most fun to sing along to, especially the chorus… “on his hands he has orifices, on his hand he has orifices, and he hasn’t got a head.”
“Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” performed by Kermit T. Frog. I love the Muppets. And again I might have picked more than one on the disc. The all Muppet cast version of “Wish You A Merry Christmas” or “The Twelve Days of Christmas” are more fun. But the sentimentality of hearing Kermit sing “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” gets the pick.
The Waitresses’s “Christmas Wrapping” is my third pick. This one takes me back to being a surly teen and being extra surly about the holidays, but finding a little joy in this wonderfully silly song.
“Let’s Have A Patrick Swayze Christmas” from the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode “Santa Conquers the Martians” is a favorite. Maybe if more Christmas songs had action sequences…
And predictably number one will be “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues. There’s not a better song to drink a glass of Christmas spirits to.
I hope that everyone has happy holidays and a good new year with great music, and while I’m hoping, that maybe 2026 will be better to everyone.
